Everyone's A Little Bit Racist-John Tartaglia/Stephanie D'Abruzzo

[ti:Everyone's a Little Bit Racist] [ar:John Tartaglia] [al:Avenue Q (Original Broadway Cast Recording)] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Everyone's A Little Bit Racist - John Tartaglia/Stephanie D'Abruzzo [00:00.31]Say Kate can I ask you a question [00:01.99]Sure [00:02.55]Well you know Trekkie Monster upstairs [00:04.27]Uh huh [00:04.98]Well he's Trekkie Monster and you're Kate Monster [00:07.72]Right [00:08.21]You're both Monsters [00:09.43]Yeah [00:10.08]Are you two related [00:11.63]What Princeton I'm surprised at you [00:14.97]I find that racist [00:16.74]Oh well I'm sorry I was just asking [00:19.18]Well it's a touchy subject [00:20.98]Now now all Monsters are related [00:23.83]What are you trying to say huh [00:25.29]That we all look the same to you [00:27.38]Huh huh huh [00:28.81] [00:29.58]Not at all [00:30.81]I'm sorry I guess that was a little racist [00:32.88]I should say so [00:35.08]You should be much more careful when you're [00:36.88]Talking about the sensitive subject of race [00:39.39] [00:40.06]Well look who's talking [00:41.47]What do you mean [00:42.82]What about that special Monster School you told me about [00:45.65]What about it [00:46.39]Could someone like me go there [00:48.10]No we don't want people like you [00:51.04]You see [00:52.34]You're a little bit racist [00:54.49]Well you're a little bit too [00:57.06]I guess we're both a little bit racist [01:00.03]Admitting it is not an easy thing to do [01:02.46]But I guess it's true [01:03.87]Between me and you I think [01:05.39]Everyone's a little bit [01:06.86]Racist sometimes [01:10.72]Doesn't mean we go around committing [01:13.24]Hate crimes [01:16.28]Look around and [01:17.56]You will find [01:18.93]No one's really [01:20.20]Color-blind [01:21.65]Maybe it's a fact [01:23.30]We all should face [01:26.91]Everyone makes [01:28.27]Judgments [01:29.04] [01:30.32]Based on race [01:31.66]Not big judgments [01:32.56]Like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from [01:35.08]No [01:35.59]No just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys [01:38.72]Should learn to speak goddamn English [01:40.24]Right [01:41.23]Everyone's a little [01:42.40]Bit racist -- today [01:44.53] [01:46.37]So everyone's a little [01:47.67]Big racist -- okay [01:51.94]Ethnic jokes might [01:53.27]Be uncouth [01:54.23]But you laugh because [01:55.62]They're based on truth [01:57.10]Don't take them as [01:58.57]Personal attacks [02:02.48]Everyone enjoys them -- [02:04.76] [02:05.65]So relax [02:06.99]All right stop me if you've heard this one [02:09.07]There's a plane going down [02:10.27]And there's only one parachute [02:11.88]And there's a rabbi a priest [02:13.70]And a BLACK guy [02:15.15]Whatchoo talkin' about Kate [02:16.29]Uh [02:17.42]You were telling a BLACK joke [02:19.41]Well sure Gary but lost of people tell black jokes [02:22.02]I don't [02:22.57]Well of course you don't -- you're black [02:24.76]But I bet you tell Polack jokes right [02:26.77]Well sure I do Those stupid Polacks [02:30.07] [02:31.01]Don't you think that's a little racist [02:33.12] [02:34.11]Well damn I guess you're right [02:36.28] [02:36.81]You're a little bit racist [02:39.30]Well you're a little bit too [02:41.97]We're all a little bit racist [02:44.78]I think that I would have to agree with you [02:47.42]We're glad you do [02:48.80]It's sad but true [02:50.45]Everyone's a little bit racist all right [02:53.66] [02:55.94]Bigotry has never been exclusively white [03:01.34]If we all could [03:02.65]Just admit [03:03.87]That we are racist [03:05.35]A little bit [03:06.65]Even though we all [03:08.35]Know that it's wrong [03:12.02]Maybe it would help [03:13.69]Us get along [03:16.81]Christ do I feel good [03:18.03]Now there was a fine upstanding black man [03:21.28] [03:22.16]Who [03:22.73]Jesus Christ [03:24.14]But Gary Jesus was white [03:26.42]No Jesus was black [03:27.71]No Jesus was white [03:29.20]No I'm pretty sure Jesus was black [03:31.36]Guys -- Jesus was Jewish [03:34.83] [03:38.83]Hey guys what are you laughing about [03:40.41]Racism [03:41.55]Cool [03:42.06] [03:42.58]Brian You come back here You take out lecycuraburs [03:46.19]What's that mean [03:47.54]Um Recyclables [03:49.32] [03:49.98]Hey don't laugh at her [03:52.15]How many languages do you speak [03:54.26]Oh come off it Brian [03:56.51] [03:57.24]Everyone's a little bit racist [03:59.44]I'm not [04:00.38]Oh no [04:01.29]Nope How many oriental wives have you got [04:06.02]What Brian [04:07.25] [04:07.98]Brian buddy [04:09.25]Where you been [04:10.47]The term is Asian-American [04:13.19]I know you are [04:14.59]No intending to be [04:18.24]But calling me [04:19.02]Oriental -- offensive to me [04:22.76]I'm sorry honey I love you [04:26.24]And I love you [04:28.05]But you're racist too [04:30.36]Yes I know [04:32.68]The Jews have all [04:33.93]The money [04:34.88]And the whites have [04:36.36]All the power [04:38.04]And I'm always in [04:39.59]Taxi-cab with driver [04:41.58]Who no shower [04:43.03]Me too [04:43.87]Me too [04:44.58]I can't even get a taxi [04:46.70]Everyone's a little bit [04:48.40]Racist it's true [04:53.11]But everyone is just about [04:55.15]As racist as you [05:00.46]If we all could just admit [05:03.94]That we are racist a little bit [05:07.42]And everyone [05:08.55]Stopped being so P C [05:12.11]Maybe we could [05:14.53]Live in harmony [05:20.68]Ev'lyone's a ritter bit lacist