The Mayor of Pussytown-Adam Sandler/Betsy Hammer/Elmo Weber

Yo it's 2004 and all you candy asses thinkin ya'll real pussies Ya'll ain't seen sh*t yet Eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back It's the mother f**kin p**sy with the little nutsack Don't care about cheddar or the paper chase I'm a f**kin grown man with zits on my face A straight up chicken sh*t A pansy a** punk If i'm if i'm guarding your a** it's an automatic slam dunk While thugs are at the party bustin all ya'lls asses I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the f**k's my glasses Can't afford no rims my My f**kin dick's so small no b**ch can suck it I don't pop 9's i got weak rhymes Back in 9 duce i got pissed on 10 times I roll solo i ain't got no clue I said please don't hit me more than a cow says moo Afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark I walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy f**ks in the park Denied by the bloods, turned down by the crypts My f**kin auntie kicked my a** and she got 2 plastic hips When i step to the club feel free to stare me down Because i just got re-elected the mayor of pussytown May-or-of-pus-sy-town When bangers hit the street i stay home and watch tv Slumped out on the couch so no one can see Unless i hear somebody knockin on my door Then you'll see me crawlin cross the mother f**kin floor I've been a f**kin coward every day of my life, That's why i pretend i don't know everyone's banging my wife I won't sit on the porch, i don't want no trouble I'm more afraid of goin out than the f**kin boy in a bubble When the sh*t goes down i make a break so fast Look like a mother f**kin rocket goin past Searchin for the sneakiest place to hide Straight into the ladies room, ain't got no pride Slippin slidin, runnin hidin You know damn well it's a scooter i'm ridin Oh no here we go, out come the glocks I take off so fast i pop out my socks You gonna f**k with me, i'll cry then run I called the cops when i got shot with a f**kin squirt gun He clams up he shuts down His pants he almost shits He'll even look the other way if you grab his grandma's tits Well i had a little poodle but neighbor's stoled her I'd shoot her with an ak but the kick hurts my shoulder I can't pop no gun and i can't fist fight Hell i'm afraid to take out the f**kin garbage at night I use the steps in the pool cause i'm terrified to dive Don't f**k with my floaties they's whats keepin me alive, b**ch Never drank remy never delt crack One time i smoked w**d i had a panic attack If you're looking for my dick in the mens locker room Just bring your binoculars with a f**kin super zoom Naw i'm just playin i don't f**kin change in there The one time i did got my bush sprayed off with nair But did i stick up for myself no f**kin doubt I did what i do best, i broke the f**k out I ain't lookin at you i ain't tryin to front It's aight with me you called my jimmy a cunt Freakin sneakin crawlin creepin When the gangs are bangin i'm in the basement sleepin I'm straight from the streets seen trouble in every side When the sh*t hits the fan i throw on a f**kin disguise Fake nose fake wig fake beard It all worked pretty good Sometimes i just use a map and a funny accent And pretend i got lost in the hood mother f**ker Now all you coward mother f**kers out there Walkin round with your head hangin low Just cause you ate one dick Just know My man the mayor, had to suck off his whole high school Case closed May-or-of-pus-sy-town