Lobby Number-Danny Kaye/Vic Schoen & His Orchestra
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[ar:Danny Kaye]
[al:Ballin' The Jack]
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[00:00.84]Lobby Number - Danny Kaye/Vic Schoen & His Orchestra
[00:05.60]Manic Depressive Pictures presents (ROAR, roar)
[00:09.91]
[00:14.72]“Hello Fresno, Goodbye”
[00:17.78]
[00:20.85]Now you know the name of the picture
[00:27.28]
[00:31.97]And you’d like to see it — But no…
[00:35.66]
[00:37.22]Screenplay by Gluck from a stageplay by Mutsk
[00:40.16]From a story by Glip from a chapter by Rusk
[00:43.21]From a sentence by Dokes from a comma by Spokes
[00:45.33]From an idea by Grokes, based on Joe Miller’s jokes.
[00:50.90]
[00:53.90]Now you know the name of the picture and who wrote it.
[00:56.84]And you’d still like to see it — But no….
[01:00.34]
[01:01.71]Art direction Pickepup, interiors Minervipup
[01:02.59]Photography Alonzotech, recorded sound by Needlepeck
[01:04.28]Upholstery by Thackery, Hackery by Dackery
[01:05.84]Hickory by Dickory and Dickory for Doc.
[01:06.25]
[01:11.12]Now finally — finally at last comes the picture
[01:14.94]
[01:17.37]And what do we see?
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[01:19.94]The same old beautiful chorus girls.
[01:22.56]
[01:23.81]The opening scene is a ranch in Fresno, California
[01:26.75]
[01:29.44]So what are they singing?
[01:30.75]
[01:31.88]When it’s cherry blossom time in Orange, New Jersey
[01:34.94]We’ll make a peach of a pair. I know we canteloup
[01:39.38]So honeydew be mine — and dip:
[01:41.50]
[01:42.19]Up on the gulch rides a hunk of man
[01:44.57]He is our hero, Cowboy Dan
[01:46.19]A gallopin’, yodelin’ buckaroo
[01:48.13]His horse, of course, is a baritone too.
[01:51.25]I’ve got that oooollllldd wagon wheels inside of me (Yi-hi-hoo)
[02:04.07]
[02:05.38]I’ve got that ooooold cactus in the hide of me (yi-hi-hoo)
[02:12.07]I’ve got that (yi-hi-hoo)
[02:14.13]
[02:14.88]The girls are delighted to hear this (mew ew ew ew)
[02:19.07]
[02:20.26]But where is our heroine?
[02:21.13]
[02:22.05]As the bell rings for lunch, we find our heroine in the corral
[02:26.16]Eating her heart out.
[02:26.97]
[02:27.91]She is Mary Sue Ann, tap-dancing daughter or an American juggling act
[02:31.04]Who left her on the doorstep of an old English castle
[02:33.10]Where she was found by Sir Basil Metabolism, who said:
[02:35.23]By jove, the Gorin baby; I shall raise her as me-own daughter (which he did).
[02:40.16]But she wants to tap dance, and Cowboy Dan, who she met on this trip
[02:43.35]Wants to marry her so she can tap dance, but she knows
[02:45.39]Sir Basil will never permit this. Never, never, never!
[02:48.14]
[02:49.08](mewewewewe)
[02:51.64]
[02:58.08]But through her tears she is singing a happy little song
[03:04.52]
[03:05.71]Because she is also a coluratura soprano
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[03:11.14](loo, loo, loo, looo, etc.)
[03:12.96]
[03:30.96]She is beside herself (her favorite position)
[03:34.02]
[03:35.02]Oh, Father, you must let me marry Cowboy Dan!
[03:37.84]
[03:38.78]He owns the biggest ranch in Texas, Bar None!
[03:41.09]
[03:42.84]Bar None? Why that’s the password for the FBI.
[03:46.40]It can’t be. No no, yes yes, no no, yes yes, no no, yes yes, no no, yes yes
[03:51.78]It can’t be! But it was.
[03:53.97]
[03:55.34]He rushes to Mary Sue Ann: “Mary Sue Ann, can you help me out?
[03:58.73]Can you tap out a mssage in code? “
[04:00.98]This is her big chance, now she can tap dance, (which she does)
[04:03.61]But what has she done? She has betrayed her own father.
[04:06.29]But he isn’t her father. He’s Henrik…..the dangerous German spy.
[04:14.80]
[04:26.61]Stick up our hands you dirty rat,
[04:28.16]So ah-ah-ah-ah, the FBI has finally captured the German spy.
[04:32.10]Dan and Mary are about to blend, you think the picture’s about to end?
[04:36.03]But no….
[04:38.16]
[04:39.47]Whoever heard of a musical picture without Carmelita Pepita,
[04:42.21]
[04:42.96]The Bolivian bombshell.
[04:44.71]
[04:45.58]“I wish you would come with me to my little village in Bolivia.
[04:55.13]
[04:55.69]So peaceful there in the purple mountains and the lovely mist,
[05:02.50]And the shining stars. And the little people who live so simple and quiet.
[05:10.26]
[05:12.07]And every night, all they want to do is…”
[05:16.82]Grab your partner swing away, it’s cherry blossom time in Orange, New J.
[05:20.45]Grab her by the feet and swing her by the hair and you will make
[05:24.13]A peach of a pair… Oh grant?
[05:26.26]So here we are back in Fresno, California. And this is where you came in.
[05:30.53]
[05:31.09]But do not fret my friend. This is a picture that ends in the middle for the
[05:37.72]Benefit of the people who came in – in the middle.
[05:40.66]
[05:42.03]This — this is The End.
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