MTV (LP版)-Lewis Black
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[ti:MTV (LP Version)]
[ar:Lewis Black]
[al:Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues]
[by:]
[offset:0]
[00:00.00]MTV (LP版) - Lewis Black
[00:00.72]And then I knew things had taken a turn for the worse
[00:03.57]When 3 years ago
[00:05.09]They hired MTV to do the Halftime Show
[00:08.83]And you know why would you hire MTV to do music
[00:13.04]
[00:14.79]MTV has nothing to do with music okay
[00:23.99]MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken
[00:27.21]
[00:34.99]MTV is video and video goes where
[00:37.83]
[00:39.09]In your eye music goes in your ear
[00:44.26]
[00:45.28]Ear eye eye ear
[00:47.54]
[00:48.78]Big f**king difference music is like a drug
[00:56.94]When you hear it you have a vision
[00:58.83]And that vision can change over time or remain the same
[01:02.30]You know that first time when you're in love and you hear a love song
[01:05.50]And you think every time you think about it
[01:07.71]You have that vision of your special someone
[01:09.72]
[01:10.37]And then 2 years after you broke up you're at the bar
[01:13.67]
[01:15.22]And you hear that song and you go
[01:17.13]"Son of a b**ch I'll have a Yager"
[01:19.67]
[01:29.99]But whatever your vision is I will tell you
[01:32.74]
[01:33.26]If you're watching a music video
[01:35.50]
[01:36.56]And the video is exactly the same as your vision
[01:39.60]
[01:40.46]Kill yourself
[01:41.02]
[01:50.14]MTV had brought to the stage that day Britney Spears
[01:54.01]N'Sync and
[01:54.70]Aerosmith and they were playing music together
[01:58.47]If that's what you could f**kin' call it
[02:00.42]
[02:01.93]It was staggering to watch It was so painful
[02:04.83]I actually took a spoon and shoved it up my own a**
[02:07.20]
[02:09.78]Because if I'm gonna hurt that bad
[02:11.70]I'm gonna do it to myself
[02:12.82]
[02:25.80]So it was absolutely extraordinary when CBS hired MTV
[02:28.88]
[02:29.92]To do the Super bowl this year
[02:31.50]
[02:32.15]Unbelievable and that CBS would be shocked that
[02:36.22]MTV couldn't present a Family Halftime Show
[02:39.59]
[02:42.71]Had none of the executives at CBS ever turned on MTV
[02:45.65]
[02:46.34]All you gotta to do is watch it for 5 minutes
[02:48.45]And know that it should be called 'The Boner Network'
[02:50.35]
[02:52.80]Kids come home from school
[02:54.07]"I'm gonna watch MTV"
[02:54.67]And they lock themselves in their room
[02:56.73]And just put their little peckers right up on the set
[02:58.88]
[03:13.37]And let me tell you
[03:14.39]It will continue no matter what has happened
[03:16.11]
[03:17.03]Because of the recent events
[03:18.19]
[03:19.24]I will guarantee that it will continue to
[03:21.81]Evolve the way it has evolved
[03:23.26]
[03:24.02]The halftime show in ten years
[03:25.47]
[03:26.34]Will literally be just planes
[03:27.51]
[03:28.02]Flying over the stadium and dropping sh*t on people
[03:30.10]
[03:34.23]While an orchestra plays classical music
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