It's Dangerous to Go Alone-Starbomb

Hey Hey Alright Yeah Aww yeah My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta Hyrule Been on the force o' good since 1986, old school I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam Hold on a minute Link! Hey, what's up old man? I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss It's dangerous to go alone, take this Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very nice I can always count on you for helpful, friendly advice Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick in disguise Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going? This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing That was weird, but whatever there is no time to lose I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled out groove Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do Hold on a minute Link! Old Man, is that you? This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits It's dangerous to go alone, take this Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's your wrinkled dick again Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men Don't be that way B***h let me introduce you To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber Oh my god! I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late Okay, now I really don't know where I am Hold on a minute Link! God damn it, Old Man! You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss It's dangerous to go alone, take- No! F**k you! F**k you, I'm not giving you a- Not touching your we- Stop the chilled out groove! Jeez! You come in here telling me you got a weewee weapon It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna spl-no! So is that a "No" on the handjob or...? Okay.